What to Expect in Your First EMDR Session
Starting any new therapy can bring up a mix of emotions; hope, curiosity, and sometimes a little anxiety about the unknown. If you’re considering Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, you might be wondering: What will actually happen in my first session?
EMDR is a powerful, research-backed approach to processing and healing from trauma, anxiety, and painful experiences. It works by helping your brain reprocess distressing memories so they no longer feel as raw, overwhelming, or defining.
If you’re nervous about your first EMDR session, you’re not alone. Many clients tell me they felt more at ease once they understood the process and what to expect. So, let’s walk through exactly how your first session might look, step by step.
Before Your First EMDR Session
Most therapists will start with an initial consultation before you begin EMDR. This could be in the form of a phone call, video chat, or in-person meeting. The goal is to:
Learn more about your history, current concerns, and therapy goals.
Make sure EMDR is a good fit for your needs.
Explain the EMDR process and answer your questions.
If you’re working with me, this is also the time we’ll talk about your therapy history, discuss any current triggers or challenges, and identify whether a traditional weekly schedule or an EMDR intensive would be best for you.
Step 1: Building Safety and Trust
Your first EMDR session will not be about “diving right in” to your most difficult memories. Instead, we focus on creating a sense of safety and stability first.
We’ll:
Discuss your goals for therapy.
Talk about how trauma, anxiety, or past experiences have been impacting your life.
Begin building coping tools so you have strategies to ground yourself both in and outside of sessions.
This stage is essential. EMDR can bring up strong emotions, so it’s important to know you can pause, slow down, or take breaks as needed. Your therapist will make sure you feel in control at all times.
Step 2: Understanding the EMDR Process
During your first session, your therapist will explain how EMDR works in simple, non-technical terms. You’ll learn:
The eight phases of EMDR and where you’ll be starting.
What “bilateral stimulation” means (this could be eye movements, tapping, or audio tones that alternate between left and right).
How EMDR helps the brain process stuck or unprocessed memories.
This is also the time to ask any questions, share any worries, and let your therapist know about any physical or emotional reactions you tend to have when discussing difficult experiences.
Step 3: Learning & Practicing Coping Tools
Before beginning trauma processing, you’ll practice grounding and regulation techniques that you can use if you feel overwhelmed during or after a session. These might include:
Deep breathing exercises.
Visualization of a “safe place.”
Physical grounding (like noticing what you can see, hear, and feel in the moment).
Gentle tapping techniques.
These tools aren’t just for sessions; they become part of your daily emotional toolkit, helping you manage stress and anxiety outside of therapy.
Step 4: Identifying Target Memories
In EMDR, we often focus on target memories, specific events, images, or situations that still cause distress. These could be:
Big, obvious traumas (such as accidents, abuse, or losses).
Smaller, repeated moments that had a lasting impact (like criticism, rejection, or feeling ignored).
Future triggers you want to handle differently.
During your first session, you and your therapist may start to identify these targets, but you won’t process them yet. This is about making a roadmap so you know where therapy is headed.
Step 5: Experiencing Bilateral Stimulation (BLS)
Depending on your readiness, your therapist may introduce you to bilateral stimulation so you know what it feels like before starting deeper work.
This could involve:
Following a light or your therapist’s hand with your eyes.
Holding small buzzers that alternate vibrations in each hand.
Listening to tones that move from ear to ear.
This practice run helps you feel comfortable with the process so there are no surprises later.
Step 6: Ending with Grounding
Every EMDR session (especially your first) will end with a return to calm. Your therapist will guide you through relaxation or grounding exercises to make sure you leave the session feeling safe and stable.
You may also be given suggestions for self-care or gentle journaling in between sessions.
What You Might Feel After Your First Session
It’s common to leave your first EMDR session feeling:
Relieved to understand the process.
More hopeful about your healing journey.
Slightly tired, since emotional work can be draining.
You might also notice subtle shifts, like feeling calmer in certain situations or more aware of your thoughts and body sensations. Your therapist will encourage you to track these changes so you can see your progress over time.
When You’ll Start Processing Memories
Some people begin reprocessing memories in the second or third session, while others spend more time in the preparation phase. This isn’t “wasting time”, it’s ensuring you have the skills and stability to safely handle whatever comes up.
Healing isn’t a race. The goal is long-term change, not rushing through difficult material.
Final Thoughts
Your first EMDR session is about building a foundation for deep, meaningful healing. You’ll get to know your therapist, learn the process, and develop tools that help you feel empowered and in control.
If you’ve spent years avoiding certain memories or feeling stuck in old patterns, EMDR can help you finally move forward; not by erasing your past, but by changing the way it lives in your mind and body.
If you’re ready to explore EMDR therapy, I offer both weekly sessions and EMDR intensives for clients in New York and South Carolina. Together, we’ll create a plan that feels safe, manageable, and tailored to your unique needs.
Book a free consultation call here to learn more.